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In this episode, Randi and Nathaniel discuss the cunning cassowary–that’s right, that awful flightless bird that lives in the land down under. Cassowaries have the reputation of being quite dangerous, although a human hasn’t been killed by a cassowary since 1926. The fear of cassowaries probably comes from their horrific, Uma Thurman-esque feet, which include “a long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease.” Join Randi and Nathaniel as they marvel over this horrible reminder of the tyranny of dinosaurs.
Guys, cassowaries are terrifying. They can run over 30 mph (that’s around 50 km/h for those of you who live in a country that’s never been to the moon), they have a vertical jump of almost five feet (1.5 m), and they can swim so you can’t count on jumping into water to escape them. That said, the majority of cassowary attacks are on dumb-dumbs that try to feed them. So don’t do that, you dumb-dumbs, okay? Cassowaries are mostly frugivorous, and they swallow fruit (including bananas) whole. Their poop spreads the seeds of these fruits, so cassowaries are kind of like terrible, loud Johnny Appleseeds. There are three species of cassowary; of them, only one is endangered: the southern cassowary. Vehicles are the largest threat to cassowaries, which–to be honest–kinda diminishes their intimidating nature. Tune in to find out if cassowaries are great, or just okay.
This episode includes the following segments:
“I Think I Could Take It” — Nathaniel believes he’s finally hit pay dirt when he’s hired by vintner Cassius the Cassowary to work at an Australian vineyard.
“What Do You Think it Tastes Like?” — Randi shares a recipe for Cassowary Stone Soup.